How to be an utter failure in work, life and everything. 17½ rules for failure: (Part 1)

How to be an utter failure in work, life and everything. 

17½ rules for failure

(Part 1)

There are rules for success. There are also guaranteed rules for failure.  Unfortunately too many people follow the rules for failure.  Then they are surprised … and envious about those who succeed. They do not understand cause and effect. If you follow the rules and work hard on being a failure, then you will surely become one. Some people think to go for success is too much trouble. For those: Here is you alternative: Go for the 17½ rules for failure (or at least the first 4 ...) ...

Rule 1: Do not take control of your life

The rule for success in driving a car is to determine where you want to go, and then take the steering wheel, start the car and steer yourself in that direction. The first rule for failure is not to do this. Just start the car, put foot on the accelerator and drive with no hands on the steering wheel. Drift slowly in any direction. And if you drive into the tree - blame the tree.

The first (1a) specialized skill in this rule is not to take responsibility for your life. Constantly blame other people. Don't have a victor mentality that states that you can be victorious despite circumstances. Do not listen to Victor Frankl (note: his name is Victor and not Victim Crankl) that says it is not what happens to you that determines you, but your freedom lies in how you react to what happens to you. Rather blame everybody, the economy, your partner, the political system past or present, for your failure. The victim mentality is the easy way out, because nothing is then your fault and you can enjoy your failure because you at least do not feel guilty about your ugly failure. Rather listen to Sigmund Freud that say you are determined by the past – caught up in it forever. Become deaf for Frankl’s message that you have the ability to respond to any situation – that is your response-ability!

The second (1b) specialized skill here is to avoid at all cost to become a master in the art of goal setting. It is dangerous to set goals. It can just activate you and steer you in a better direction and that will result in change - that can be so uncomfortable. And if you slip up and cannot resist the temptation to set goals, then don't write them down. Because writing them down can activate your reticular activating system that will cause you to become creative in reaching the goal. That is once again dangerous because it will lead to even more painful change.

If backsliding is your problem and they catch you with goals, then at least do not prioritize them or even implement them.  Do not listen to the call to attend life planning workshops. Especially avoid the following "Get-a-Life” workshop, because they are so effective in helping you to formulate your 100% life and getting your life-GPS (GOALS in PRIORITY order, that you can SCHEDULE in a day to day action plan). Do not click on the links of upcoming "Get-a-Life” workshops.

https://gustavgousonline.com/collections/seminars/products/get-a-life-seminar-09-june-2017-pretoria-gauteng   

Be warned: Do not watch, enroll or attend, because if you do, you run the risk of ... hold your breath ... achieving success.

The last defence against goal setting is procrastination. You do have a priority list, but you choose to focus on all the z - priorities.  Z priorities are the things to do that will have zero or very little effect on you overall happiness rating and improvement of your life.

Rule 2:  Do not ask for help. Do not go for coaching. Try to do everything in your own strength. Go it alone.

Winners in the game of life know the value of coaches. But if you want to be a failure in work,  life and everything, then you must not learn from international sports teams: Not a single soccer, rugby or cricket team can win the world cup without a coach. But some men and women are so proud – they think they know it all and that they don’t need coaching. 

They say to go for coaching in relationship matters (such as marriage preparation/ counselling, dealing with teenagers, etc.) is to admit that they are not competent enough. Their low self-images do not permit them to ask for help. They miss the point that the best and most competent Wimbledon tennis players all have coaches. Only the best players can afford the best coaches. The will not concede that teachabilty is probably the best attributes a human being can have.

Oh, I almost forgot: The worst here is not to ask advice from the architect of life:  The person who gave you the gift of life has a stretched out hand to you and is offering help. I want to teach you how to live (Psalm 16:11). I want to help you with healing and using your talents. I want to be there for you (Emmanuel – God with us). Not using divine coaching is missing a divine opportunity!  

For those who want to be a failure in work, life and everything – don’t Google and read or John 10 verse 10.  https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+10:10   or Psalm 23 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23  or Psalm 121, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+121&version=NIV   . Avoid it at all cost. It may just motivate you to explore this option.

Rule 3: Do not ask for feedback and do not change.

Successful people thrive on feedback. It is the way to improve. Failures fail to ask for feedback.  They fail to ask the following six questions: What must I ….

1. # Continue to do. ...

2. # Do more (increase) ...

3. # Stop doing ...

4. # Do less (decrease) ...

5. # Do differently ... and

6. # Start doing ...

... to be more effective? It is dangerous to ask these questions – because with this information you can put a plan in place to change for the better … and that is too much trouble.

They would rather prefer to sit on a thorn, and have something to complain about, rather than stand out of the discomfort zone and do something to improve.  It is too much trouble for them to change.

Rule 4:   Do not live in the present - live in the past. Carry the baggage of unresolved issues.   Do not go for healing.

Failures are paralyzed in the present because of unresolved issues from the past, and worries about the future. They fail to work through issues with a good coach. They don’t mind being broken, and don’t care if it is true that broken people can’t build wholesome relationships.  Successful people have their hands free to use the present as a gift or a present. They create good things in the moment – and have tomorrow good memories of yesterday because of that. Failures cannot embrace the future with baggage in their hands … but they prefer it that way! Why go forward if you can wallow in the mess of the past! So, do not phone me for a coaching appointment. You may just run the risk of healing the past, to be free to live the present, to be able to create the future. 

These are the first 4 rules of failure … there are many more but part of failure is to fail to give it to you! They will only follow in the next blogs.  

Part  2 will have 8 more rules on failure in the eight areas of life.

Last warning: Some people say it is possible to fail forward. Ignore them.

If you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 

If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   0r  0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Disclaimer:    Important notice to you as the reader:  Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.  

www.gustavgousonline.com 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .  

Get going: The GPS of Goal setting. Master the art: 10 steps

Get going: The GPS of Goal setting

Master the art: 10 steps 

We all are at point A in your lives. My question is – how happy are you at point A? If not 100% happy, then you must make a plan to go to point B that stands for Better or even BEST. 

If you stay at point A there will be no improvement in your happiness rating. It is common sense. But common sense is not yet common practice. Most people sit at point A and complain, moan, or make excuses. 

The successful people among us have discovered: It is better to make a plan, than to make an excuse. It is better to get a goal and  GPS to go to a better place. Bill Copeland said: “The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.”

Lazy people have too few or no goals. They just drift and bemoan the beach they end up on. Intelligent people have many goals – too many. The problem is, that they are paralyzed because they have too many goals. They try to aim at 20 things simultaneously and hit none.  Four rabbits in sight, ... none in the pot. People with too many good goals feel a bit overwhelmed and then  they start to procrastinate:  They waste time on a really unimportant goal, instead of the first thing they actually have to do first.

Get a GPS: 

To go in real life from point A to point B you need a GPS. Not the normal GPS (Global Positioning System) that we nowadays use on road trips. Rather a GPS that stands for GOALS , PRIORITIES, SCHEDULING.  You must not only clarify all the goals in your life to take your life to the next level, but also arrange them in priority order. You determine the priorities through the following question: Which goal, if achieved, will result in the highest improvement of my happiness rating. And then the second goal resulting in the second highest improvement, and then the 3^rd …, 4^th, 5^th, etc.

The way to do it, is to do it in the context of your overall life plan, with the help of a coach. Sports coaching is easy: The goal is clear: The Cup the World Cup or the Medal. It is all about implementation coaching to go from a state where we don’t have the Cup , to a situation where we have it!

Life coaching is a twofold process: You first have to clarify what point B (the better future) is, and only then put the steps in place to get there. It is first (i) clarification coaching (within the context of an overall life plan), and then (ii) implementation coaching.

The best way to do clarification coaching is the one day “Get a Life” workshop where you redesign your life, plan your next chapter, and walk away on that day with a GPS: a clear cut picture of exactly what to do to go to a better B:  The GPS list the top 10 Goals in Priority order, which you can Schedule into your daily activities to move step by step to your better future.

Welcome to join me on one of these workshops in the near future:

https://www.gustavgous.co.za/index.php/attend-a-seminar/get-a-life-workshop-pretoria-saturday-1-july-2023  ,  or any subsequent date in South Africa or other countries elsewhere in the world.

For corporate tables of 10. 

https://worklifeworkshop.co.za/

The outcome of these workshops is your GPS: Your top 10 list of prioritized goals. Once you have this top 10 list, then you must master the art of Goal setting.

There is the short methodology, and the 10 step methodology.

The short methodology is easy : You describe where you are (A), you describe where you want to be (B), you list the action steps to get there, you remind yourself of the benefits of achieving this goal, and you list solutions to all the obstacles that stand in your way in achieving this goal.

The longer, more detailed 10 steps of goal setting can be used for more complex goals:

1.      Action step 1: WRITE DOWN YOUR GOAL  ( They must be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Tangible)

Here you clarify the goal crystal clear.

2.       Action step 2: ALIGN YOUR GOAL WITH YOUR PERSONAL VALUE SYSTEM

Is it in line with what you stand for? You want money, but robbing a bank may be against your value system.

3.       Action step 3: IDENTIFY THE BENEFITS OF ACHIEVING YOUR GOAL

List all the reasons ‘why’ you want to achieve this goal. The bigger the ‘why’ the easier the ‘how’.

4.       Action step 4: IDENTIFY ALL THE POSSIBLE OBSTACLES THAT YOU MAY HAVE TO OVERCOME IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS

5.       Action step 5: IDENTIFY THE STRATEGIES AND SOLUTIONS FOR OVERCOMING ANY POSSIBLE OBSTACLES

6.      Action step 6: IDENTIFY THE RESOURCES NEEDED TO OBTAIN YOUR GOALS

It can be people and things. It is about the ‘where’, ‘who’, ‘how’ and ‘with what’ or ‘with whom’.

7.       Action step 7: LIST THE AFFIRMATIONS TO SUPPORT YOUR GOALS.

Affirmations are positive self-talk where you state a future reality as a current reality: I am the best mother in South Africa, or the best cricket player in the school,

8.       Action step 8: WRITE DOWN YOUR INTERMEDIATE OBJECTIVES

Here you write down the action steps one by one. What must I do first, in order to be able to do the next step. This is the important scheduling part of goal setting. In big projects this is the detailed project plan that must be managed.

9.       Action step 9: PRACTICE VISUALIZATION FOR YOUR GOALS

Awaken your sub-conscious mind through imagery. Visualize yourself achieving the goal. It is important not to only visualize the end result, but especially doing the actions that will result in achieving the goal. Do not only visualize yourself on the podium at the athletics meeting. Also visualize yourself in the gym and exercising on the track, come sunshine or rain.

10  Action step 10:   SET A DEFINITE COMPLETION DATE

There is nothing like a deadline to focus your mind and help you to choose your action in a specific moment.

This is the example on how to do goal setting  form my book “Get-a-Life in 40 days”  page 48.

You can order the book on :  https://gustavgousonline.com/collections/books/products/get-a-life-in-40days-through-7-strategic-questions

I close with a few inspirational quotes:

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score.” —Bill Copeland

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” —Earl Nightingale

“A goal properly set is halfway reached.” —Zig Ziglar

Get Going - go for your goal!

If you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 

If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   0r WhatsApp  0825657451 or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Disclaimer:    Important notice to you as the reader:  Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.  

www.gustavgousonline.com 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his "Get-a-Life Workshops and his  Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  He is the founding President of the Professional speakers Association of Namibia. Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .