Sunday, August 5, 2018

Had a brush with death lately? I’m glad to hear. You got your golden ticket …! Now make the most of your close encounter with death …


Had a brush with death lately? I’m glad to hear.  You got your golden ticket …!
Now make the most of your close encounter with death …
-          dr Gustav Gous

Had a brush with death lately? I’m glad to hear! Haven’t? I hope you have one soon!  Because it can be the best thing that happened to you ….

We all have our close encounter with death – those situations that we survive miraculouslyI had one this week – hence this blog. And it was not the first time in my life.  I was almost off the field, not being able to continue to play game of life. .  I would love to hear your story of your close-encounter with death story.  But even more I would like you hear what you made of it …

I hope you didn’t just brush it off?   Heaven forbid.  There is an embedded message and you must head the call. My one friend Barry always said: The small accidents help you to prevent the bigger ones – if you learn from them!

Bredan Burchard is known for his story where he survived a motor crash, and in a split second asked: Did I live, did I love, did I matter?  He realised he couldn’t answer this affirmatively and re-organised his life to be in a position to be able to answer these questions affirmatively. He also realized he got a golden ticket on that day – just like in the idols competitions. 

You golden ticket admits you to continue life.   It admits you to the next round. You are still on the stage. Now rewrite the story to stop playing a tragedy, of a victim story, but rewrite the stars and start playing a love store or a come-back-from-behind story.  
Brendon headed the wake-up call and re-organised his life  - and a man with 60 million hits on his YouTube videos, can now claim to make a difference. 


After your near hit, (yes, rather a near hit, than a near miss!) , you realise you are still on the field.  You can now  have the opportunity to change your game plan. You have a second chance, an second half.  Unfortunately not all people use it, but some do.  Bob Buford, when confronted with the harsh reality of death -  the death of his son -  called out half time and changed his game plan. This is also the titles of his two books: Half Time and Game Plan.

This week, after another close encounter with death in my own life, I was just so happy that I am still alive, and here is my few suggestions  how to make the most of your close brush with death:

What not to do:

-          - Don’t fall into the trap of survival guilt. Be grateful that you are still alive. Honour the dead by picking up the baton the people you loved dropped  and live passionately forward, also in their honour
-          - Resist a sorry that I exist attitude – you got the chance – the ticket. The fact that somebody else didn’t get it, is not to say that you must not use your golden ticket. 
-          - Don’t live in fear that it can happen again, this time with final consequences. Come to term with your mortality. All of us will die eventually. All cancer survivors and motor car crash survivors die eventually.  Decide to at least live fully, until that day.

What to do:

Ø  Use the opportunity, to redefine your values. Realize what is important, is important, and what is unimportant is unimportant. Those were the words of my dad after he survived cancer once.
Ø  See purpose in the fact that you survived. Press  the reset button, and find a new purpose in the new situation or chapter in your life
Ø  Reorganise your life to give structure and action to your new-found opportunity. The you will look back after a few more years and can say the you heeded the call, and is now better off after getting the wake-up call. Implement your new plans and show results
Ø  Enjoy every day alive- live intensely and intentionally. Live as if every day  is your last, and plan as if you are going to live for a very long time.
Ø  Share your story with other people – so that they can learn from your experience. Intelligent people learn from their own experience, wise people from the experience and stories of others. Not all will learn, but some will …

Use your  golden ticket! 


If you want more information on corporate interventions or how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   0r  0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Disclaimer:    Important notice to you as the reader:  Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.  


www.gustavgousonline.com 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He 
was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 
international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Sunday, July 8, 2018

What they should have taught you in school , to be ready for life…. . The new curriculum for the School of Life


What they should have taught you in school , to be ready for life….

The new curriculum for the School of Life
-          Dr Gustav Gous

Normal schooling didn’t prepare us adequately to be ready to face life and all its challenges. It didn’t even prepare us to capitalize on all of life’s opportunities. There is an odd silence in education about the really important questions. Maths and languages, useful as it is, is not enough.  Geography, history, biology and natural science, is not nearly enough to get us fit and ready for everything life offers.  There is an urgent need for a new curriculum preparing you for real life,  in a new school … the SCHOOL of LIFE.

If the absence thereof,  it is no wonder that there are:
-          brilliant mathematicians, failing in relationships
-          salespeople that cannot communicate well with their teenagers
-          good solid people failing financially
-          intelligent academics neglecting their bodies
-          successful sports people losing their moral compass
-          talented people with lousy attitudes

I asked the question to my Facebook friends: ‘What are those things you wished your teachers taught you,  the things really necessary to help you to handle everything that life presented you with.’ The answers were the real thing - basic but important stuff.  I will share some of it later in the blog, because from these answers, a new curriculum can be born.

In this blog I want to share first steps to a new curriculum to make us fit for life. The purpose  is to give us all a grid or checklist to construct you own “school of life’. You must take charge of your own life-preparation to become fit for life. The content or ‘classrooms’ of your curriculum in your own ‘life school’ can then be sourced from many people and institutions.

We can get helpful pointers for a new curriculum from:
-          Howard Gardener and his 7 intelligence theory
-          The World Economic Forum: skills list
-          Psychologists such as Ericson
-          Progressive schools
-          Educational expert Sir Ken Robinson
-          normal people in their everyday effort  to play the game of life
-          even my Get a Life in 40 days “Life-design” program
-          wisdom from parents, coaches, gurus, spiritual leaders etc

Howard Gardener broke new ground with his 7-intelligence theory, when he pointed out that we need more than logical/mathematical  and linguistic/verbal intelligence to handle life, but also  emotional intelligence, inter-personal intelligence, musical intelligence, bodily/kinaesthetic intelligence and spatial/3D intelligence. He also mentioned an 8th intelligence namely directional intelligence.  After that everybody jumped on the bandwagon, including myself that many more intelligences needed such as inter-cultural intelligence or wider diversity intelligence. Some even suggested that there is also a need for spiritual intelligence.

The World Economic Forum compiled a helpful list of necessary skillsets in our day and time.  They surveyed 350 executives across 9 industries in 15 of the world's biggest economies   to determine the top 10 skills that will be most desired by employers by 2020: 

Here they are in reverse order building up to the most important one: 

10. Cognitive flexibility: This entails creativity, logical reasoning, and problem sensitivity and deep listening. Especially being able to tailor and adapt how you communicate based on who you're talking to.
9. Negotiation skills
8. Service orientation:  Actively seeking to help others in you team and across your industry.
7. Judgment and decision-making:  With so much data available, those who  can analyse it and use it to make intelligent decisions, will be in demand. 
6. Emotional intelligence.  Controlling your own emotions, reading those of others, and being aware of your impact on others.
5. Coordinating with others. The social skill to collaborate, adjust in relation to others, and be sensitive to the needs of others.
4. People management:  The ability to motivate people, develop the talents and skills of subordinates,  and to select the best people for the position.
3. Creativity.  Bombarded by new technologies, the world needs creative people who can apply it to new products and services.
2. Critical thinking.  Critical minds who can employ logic and reasoning , who can evaluate the uses or abuses of the power of technology
1. Complex problem-solving.  Intelligently analysing complex data and research results for greater efficiency.

The report shows that 36% of all jobs across all industries will require complex problem-solving abilities as a core skill by 2020.  Social skills is also a recurring theme.

The real tasks that must be mastered in the different stages in life were identified by psycholgists such as Erik Erikson:    (i) Basic trust vs. mistrust ; (ii) Control of own functions/ Autonomy vs. Shame/Doubt  (iii)  Initiative vs. Guilt ;  (iv) Competence : Industry vs. Inferiority (hard work produces results)  (v)  Identity vs. Role Confusion (who am I)  (vi)  Intimacy vs. Isolation (to love and to share) (vii) Productivity and  Generativity vs. Stagnation (what must I do with my life).  (viii) Wisdom: ego integrity vs. despair (legacy).  How to achieve these seven mileposts,  must also be part of the curriculum of the school of life.


My school was old school. Some modern schools are really smart: They have already included in their purpose the real issues that must be taught: Inbetween all the subjects, activities (sport and cultural) they are clear on what they really want to achieve. The want to teach the following skillsets:

Ø  Thinking skills- critical thinking, creative thinking, reflective thinking;
Ø  Social skills- personal behaviour, leadership, collaboration;
Ø  Research - inquiring into, information literacy, media and digital literacy;
Ø  Communication- personal interaction and communication with others, communication in various contexts;
Ø  Self-management - organisational skills, self-reflection, growth mindset and affective skills
This is really a step in the right direction, and it is good to see the overlap with the skillsets identified by the WEF.

Obviously we must take note of what Sir Ken Robinson, world-renowned education and creativity expert, say bout revamping the whole educational system, but that is a topic for another day. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U&index=11&list=PL39BF9545D740ECFF&t=0s

The 14 year project that I am busy with, to develop the best Life Planning program available, Get-a-Life in 40 days©, is a first step to include everything necessary for life in one comprehensive program. It has helped 1000o’s op people to redesign their lives to survive and thrive in life.  In another blog, I will elaborate on this.

From all of the above , I want to de-complicate the issue and give you the first pointers to a 
Life school curriculum under three headings .
What will really be helpful, is,  if people (parents and peers and coaches)  and schools helps us to obtain specific

A Competencies/Abilities/Skillsets
B Foundations/ Tools
C To use the above to do goalsetting and achieve purposeful living in 8 key areas in life

I will add a few topics under each heading (feel free to add to the list)

A.       Competencies/Abilities/Skillsets 
The following “how to’s” must be part of the curriculum:
-          Critical thinking
-          How to handle your emotions
-          The art of self-motivation
-          Good decision-making in a number of fields
Ø  what to do in life (work/career)
Ø  with whom must I do it
o   Friends
o   Love partner
o   Business partners
-          How to do goalsetting
-          How to handle change
-          How to handle relationships (various: Marriage, friendships, colleagues, etc)
-          How to lead people (leadership skills)
-          How to deal with people who really differ from you
-          How to collaborate in teams
-          How to handle a crisis and a calamity
-          How to change your mind (replace an older outdated framework.
-          Teachability
-          …and many more

These competencies need foundations in order to function.
B.      Foundations/ Tools
You can’t make good decisions, if you don’t have  values to guide you. You need to be clear of your identity to be able to make good job-fit or relationship-fit. The following belong under this heading:
-          How to instil solid values in yourself and your children
-          How to find your identity
-          How to develop a good self-image and healthy self confidence
-          How to find your Faith (your chosen truth)
-          How to discover your life purpose
-          How to find meaning in life
-          How to develop a healthy worldview and thinking framework
-          How to develop  functional habits
-          Developing a healthy attitude or angle on life
These foundational tools and skillsets must be used and applied to live a purposeful and effective life in eight areas in life.

C.       Use the above to do goal setting and achieve purposeful living in 8 key areas in life
The eight key areas in life come from my “Get-a-Life in 40 days program. Areas:
-          Physical & Health
-          Family, Home & Love Relationship
-          Social & Recreational
-          Spiritual & connectedness
-          Intellectual & educational
-          Professional & career  (working for money)
-          Financial & wealth  (money working for you)
-          Community & Cultural (making a difference in the world)

A school of life must focus on the above real life issues:  The abilities, foundations and applications in eight life areas.

And every single topic my Facebook friends mentioned in answer to the question:  ‘What are those things you wished your teachers taught you,   ..?’ , found their  place into the above rudimentary proposed curriculum for a school of life.


If you want more information on corporate interventions or how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   0r  0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Disclaimer:    Important notice to you as the reader:  Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.  


www.gustavgousonline.com 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He 
was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 
international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .  


Sunday, November 19, 2017

How to live a legacy lifestyle - dr Gustav Gous

How to live a legacy lifestyle
  
-  dr Gustav Gous

Selfish people only live for themselves; truly great people live beyond themselves. Selfish people are abusing people and the earth’s resourses for personal gain. Great people live a good life for themselves, to be in a position to help others to achieve the same. William Shakespeare said, “What man is a man, if he does not make the world a better place?”

Probably most important question in life is: What is your legacy going to be when you finally leave the earth? As a wake-up call, ask yourself about your current reality as far as four aspects are concerned:
People: Are they better off after they met me or now hurting and bleeding?
My family: Are they better off or do they need therapy because of me?
Nature: Is it still in a good shape or will be more polluted and worse off after I have left?
Society: Did I leave my country/group/community in better shape or a worse off? Did I put structures or organisations in place that will benefit others?
Remember: Inheritance is the money you leave behind, a legacy is what you leave behind in people, nature and society.
Swami Vivekananda puts it like this, “The great secret of true success, of true happiness, is this: The man or woman who asks for no return, the perfectly unselfish person, is the most successful.”


Funeral speeches:
The ‘legacy question’ is the one question that other people will answer: After your funeral will they have good or bad things to say about you, or will they say nothing, just to be polite? I always motivate people to make it easy for the pastor who must bury them. Please make it easy for him/her and give him/her something to say!

The good news is, you are in control and you can determine what they are going to say through good life planning. One way to do this is through reverse engineering: Begin with the end in mind. Ask yourself,” What do I want the following people to say at my funeral?”
My partner, my child/children, my work colleagues, my friend, my competitors, a representative from the community, the President of my country, the General Secretary of the United Nations, and God, who gave me the gift of life:

Design your life 
Design your life with this in mind and prioritize your actions accordingly, to live up to it. Live the way you want to be remembered. The best wat to do it is to ask every day: If all that people have to remember me by, is just my actions, attitudes, and words of today – how will I live today. That is a sobering thought and enough to assure that you have a great legacy.

People who have left great legacies on earth are not only the great industrialists like Ford, Nobel or Kellogg, who create foundations and big trust funds for charitable purposes. Or Warren Buffet or Bill Gates. The legacy people are also normal people like you and me who realised there is yet another level beyond success – the level of ‘significance’ where you live beyond your own needs to go to the next level to serve others. Albert Pike said:  'What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world remains and is immortal.’

My call to action is: “Live a good life for yourself to be in a position to give it away to others.'  Work for a cause, not for applause. Live life to express, not to impress. Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just make your absence felt. Leave not only the money, but also the legacy. 


______


If you want more information on corporate interventions or how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   0r  0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Disclaimer:    Important notice to you as the reader:  Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.  


www.gustavgousonline.com 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He 
was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 
international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .