How to be an utter
failure in work, life and everything.
17½ rules for failure
(Part 1)
There are rules for success. There are also guaranteed rules
for failure. Unfortunately too many
people follow the rules for failure.
Then they are surprised … and envious about those who succeed. They do
not understand cause and effect. If you follow the rules and work hard on being
a failure, then you will surely become one. Some people think to go for success is too much trouble. For those: Here is you alternative: Go for the 17½ rules for failure (or at least the first 4 ...) ...
Rule 1: Do not take
control of your life
The rule for success in driving a car is to determine where
you want to go, and then take the steering wheel, start the car and steer
yourself in that direction. The first rule for failure is not to do this. Just
start the car, put foot on the accelerator and drive with no hands on the steering
wheel. Drift slowly in any direction. And if you drive into the tree - blame
the tree.
The first (1a) specialized skill in this rule is not to take responsibility for your life.
Constantly blame other people. Don't have a victor mentality that states that
you can be victorious despite circumstances. Do not listen to Victor Frankl
(note: his name is Victor and not Victim Crankl) that says it is not what
happens to you that determines you, but your freedom lies in how you react to
what happens to you. Rather blame everybody, the economy, your partner, the
political system past or present, for your failure. The victim mentality is the
easy way out, because nothing is then your fault and you can enjoy your failure
because you at least do not feel guilty about your ugly failure. Rather listen
to Sigmund Freud that say you are determined by the past – caught up in it
forever. Become deaf for Frankl’s message that you have the ability to respond
to any situation – that is your response-ability!
The second (1b)
specialized skill here is to avoid
at all cost to become a master in the art of goal setting. It is dangerous to set goals. It can just
activate you and steer you in a better direction and that will result in change
- that can be so uncomfortable. And if you slip up and cannot resist the
temptation to set goals, then don't write
them down. Because writing them down can activate your reticular activating
system that will cause you to become creative in reaching the goal. That is
once again dangerous because it will lead to even more painful change.
If backsliding is your problem and they catch you with goals,
then at least do not prioritize them or even implement them. Do not
listen to the call to attend life planning workshops. Especially avoid the
following "Get-a-Life” workshop, because they are so effective in helping
you to formulate your 100% life and getting your life-GPS (GOALS in PRIORITY
order, that you can SCHEDULE in a day to day action plan). Do not click on the
links of upcoming "Get-a-Life” workshops.
Be warned: Do not watch, enroll or attend,
because if you do, you run the risk of ... hold your breath ... achieving
success.
The last defence against goal setting is procrastination. You do have a priority
list, but you choose to focus on all the z - priorities. Z priorities are the things to do that will have
zero or very little effect on you overall happiness rating and improvement of
your life.
Rule 2: Do not ask for help. Do not go for coaching.
Try to do everything in your own strength. Go it alone.
Winners in the game of life know the value of coaches. But
if you want to be a failure in work, life and everything, then you must not learn
from international sports teams: Not a single soccer, rugby or cricket team can
win the world cup without a coach. But some men and women are so proud – they
think they know it all and that they don’t need coaching.
They say to go for
coaching in relationship matters (such as marriage preparation/ counselling,
dealing with teenagers, etc.) is to admit that they are not competent enough.
Their low self-images do not permit them to ask for help. They miss the point
that the best and most competent Wimbledon tennis players all have coaches.
Only the best players can afford the best coaches. The will not concede that
teachabilty is probably the best attributes a human being can have.
Oh, I almost forgot: The worst here is not to ask advice
from the architect of life: The person
who gave you the gift of life has a stretched out hand to you and is offering
help. I want to teach you how to live (Psalm 16:11). I want to help you with
healing and using your talents. I want to be there for you (Emmanuel – God with
us). Not using divine coaching is missing a divine opportunity!
For those who want to be a failure in work,
life and everything – don’t Google and read or John 10 verse 10. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+10:10 or Psalm
23 https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+23 or Psalm 121, https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm+121&version=NIV
. Avoid it at all cost. It may just
motivate you to explore this option.
Rule 3: Do not ask
for feedback and do not change.
Successful people thrive on feedback. It is the way to
improve. Failures fail to ask for feedback. They fail to ask the following six questions:
What must I ….
1. # Continue to do. ...
2. # Do more (increase) ...
3. # Stop doing ...
4. # Do less (decrease) ...
5. # Do differently ... and
6. # Start doing ...
... to be more effective? It
is dangerous to ask these questions – because with this information you can put
a plan in place to change for the better … and that is too much trouble.
They would rather prefer to sit on a thorn, and have
something to complain about, rather than stand out of the discomfort zone and
do something to improve. It is too much
trouble for them to change.
Rule 4: Do not live in the present - live in the
past. Carry the baggage of unresolved issues. Do not go for healing.
Failures are paralyzed in the present because of unresolved
issues from the past, and worries about the future. They fail to work through
issues with a good coach. They don’t mind being broken, and don’t care if it is
true that broken people can’t build wholesome relationships. Successful people have their hands free to use
the present as a gift or a present. They create good things in the moment – and
have tomorrow good memories of yesterday because of that. Failures cannot
embrace the future with baggage in their hands … but they prefer it that way! Why
go forward if you can wallow in the mess of the past! So, do not phone me for a coaching appointment. You may just run the risk of healing the past, to be free to live the present, to be able to create the future.
These are the first 4 rules of failure … there are many more
but part of failure is to fail to give it to you! They will only follow in the
next blogs.
Part 2 will have 8 more rules on failure in the
eight areas of life.
Last warning: Some people say it is possible to fail
forward. Ignore them.
If you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za
If you want interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931 0r 0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities.
Disclaimer: Important notice to you as the reader: Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.
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www.gustavgousonline.com
Dr Gustav Gous is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He
was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”.
He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore). Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for
international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans. gustav@gustavgous.co.za drgous@iafrica.com www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,
Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous or on Facebook and LinkedIn .
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