Sunday, June 4, 2017

How to be an utter failure in work, life and everything. 17½ rules for failure: (Part 1)

How to be an utter failure in work, life and everything. 
17½ rules for failure
(Part 1)

There are rules for success. There are also guaranteed rules for failure.  Unfortunately too many people follow the rules for failure.  Then they are surprised … and envious about those who succeed. They do not understand cause and effect. If you follow the rules and work hard on being a failure, then you will surely become one. Some people think to go for success is too much trouble. For those: Here is you alternative: Go for the 17½ rules for failure (or at least the first 4 ...) ...

Rule 1: Do not take control of your life

The rule for success in driving a car is to determine where you want to go, and then take the steering wheel, start the car and steer yourself in that direction. The first rule for failure is not to do this. Just start the car, put foot on the accelerator and drive with no hands on the steering wheel. Drift slowly in any direction. And if you drive into the tree - blame the tree.

The first (1a) specialized skill in this rule is not to take responsibility for your life. Constantly blame other people. Don't have a victor mentality that states that you can be victorious despite circumstances. Do not listen to Victor Frankl (note: his name is Victor and not Victim Crankl) that says it is not what happens to you that determines you, but your freedom lies in how you react to what happens to you. Rather blame everybody, the economy, your partner, the political system past or present, for your failure. The victim mentality is the easy way out, because nothing is then your fault and you can enjoy your failure because you at least do not feel guilty about your ugly failure. Rather listen to Sigmund Freud that say you are determined by the past – caught up in it forever. Become deaf for Frankl’s message that you have the ability to respond to any situation – that is your response-ability!

The second (1b) specialized skill here is to avoid at all cost to become a master in the art of goal setting. It is dangerous to set goals. It can just activate you and steer you in a better direction and that will result in change - that can be so uncomfortable. And if you slip up and cannot resist the temptation to set goals, then don't write them down. Because writing them down can activate your reticular activating system that will cause you to become creative in reaching the goal. That is once again dangerous because it will lead to even more painful change.

If backsliding is your problem and they catch you with goals, then at least do not prioritize them or even implement them.  Do not listen to the call to attend life planning workshops. Especially avoid the following "Get-a-Life” workshop, because they are so effective in helping you to formulate your 100% life and getting your life-GPS (GOALS in PRIORITY order, that you can SCHEDULE in a day to day action plan). Do not click on the links of upcoming "Get-a-Life” workshops.
Be warned: Do not watch, enroll or attend, because if you do, you run the risk of ... hold your breath ... achieving success.

The last defence against goal setting is procrastination. You do have a priority list, but you choose to focus on all the z - priorities.  Z priorities are the things to do that will have zero or very little effect on you overall happiness rating and improvement of your life.

Rule 2:  Do not ask for help. Do not go for coaching. Try to do everything in your own strength. Go it alone.

Winners in the game of life know the value of coaches. But if you want to be a failure in work,  life and everything, then you must not learn from international sports teams: Not a single soccer, rugby or cricket team can win the world cup without a coach. But some men and women are so proud – they think they know it all and that they don’t need coaching. 

They say to go for coaching in relationship matters (such as marriage preparation/ counselling, dealing with teenagers, etc.) is to admit that they are not competent enough. Their low self-images do not permit them to ask for help. They miss the point that the best and most competent Wimbledon tennis players all have coaches. Only the best players can afford the best coaches. The will not concede that teachabilty is probably the best attributes a human being can have.

Oh, I almost forgot: The worst here is not to ask advice from the architect of life:  The person who gave you the gift of life has a stretched out hand to you and is offering help. I want to teach you how to live (Psalm 16:11). I want to help you with healing and using your talents. I want to be there for you (Emmanuel – God with us). Not using divine coaching is missing a divine opportunity!  
For those who want to be a failure in work, life and everything – don’t Google and read or John 10 verse 10.   or Psalm 23  or Psalm 121,   . Avoid it at all cost. It may just motivate you to explore this option.

Rule 3: Do not ask for feedback and do not change.

Successful people thrive on feedback. It is the way to improve. Failures fail to ask for feedback.  They fail to ask the following six questions: What must I ….

1. # Continue to do. ...
2. # Do more (increase) ...
3. # Stop doing ...
4. # Do less (decrease) ...
5. # Do differently ... and
6. # Start doing ...
... to be more effective? It is dangerous to ask these questions – because with this information you can put a plan in place to change for the better … and that is too much trouble.

They would rather prefer to sit on a thorn, and have something to complain about, rather than stand out of the discomfort zone and do something to improve.  It is too much trouble for them to change.

Rule 4:   Do not live in the present - live in the past. Carry the baggage of unresolved issues.   Do not go for healing.

Failures are paralyzed in the present because of unresolved issues from the past, and worries about the future. They fail to work through issues with a good coach. They don’t mind being broken, and don’t care if it is true that broken people can’t build wholesome relationships.  Successful people have their hands free to use the present as a gift or a present. They create good things in the moment – and have tomorrow good memories of yesterday because of that. Failures cannot embrace the future with baggage in their hands … but they prefer it that way! Why go forward if you can wallow in the mess of the past! So, do not phone me for a coaching appointment. You may just run the risk of healing the past, to be free to live the present, to be able to create the future. 

These are the first 4 rules of failure … there are many more but part of failure is to fail to give it to you! They will only follow in the next blogs.  
Part  2 will have 8 more rules on failure in the eight areas of life.

Last warning: Some people say it is possible to fail forward. Ignore them.

If you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact 
If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   0r  0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email to discuss possibilities. 

Disclaimer:    Important notice to you as the reader:  Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices. 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He 
was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 
international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans. , ,
Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .  

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