Test yourself: Do I have winning habits? Your habits can make or break you.

Test yourself:  Do I have winning habits? 

Your habits can make or break you.

1.       The good habits make you, the bad ones break you.
2.       Why do we need habits?  Habits are protocols for success
3.        How do we form habits? How does it work ?
4.       How do we change habits? 
5.       We need habits on these areas ...: Be it the 7, 10, 14 or 50 habits of highly successful people.
6.       Six steps to change habits :

1.       The good habits make you, the bad ones break you.

All of us have habits. These habits can make or break you. You first form  your habits, then they determine your destiny.  The reality is – bad habits can cause your demise, but good habits can help you to be a winner in your game. The question is:  Do I have winning habits. Aristotle said excellence is an habit.    I always say -  to sales people, relationship partners, business people, sports teams, etc : Show me your habits , and I will be able to almost forecast your future.  The sum-total of your habits are like your autopilot: If your autopilot is set on the wrong thing – then you will surely perish like the German Wings plane that crashed into a mountain because a mentally disturbed  pilot set the plane onto a collision course with a mountain to commit suicide. But a good autopilot can help you to land safely and rendezvous with your destination

2.       Why do we need habits?  Habits are protocols for success.  

In the freedom of everyday life we l cannot decide from scratch everything we must do – we must make life easier by creating little patterns to limit tedious decision making. Values are rules for success, but habits are protocols for success.  We are creatures of habit.  The downside is that it limits our options and creativity in the moment, but the upside is that this ‘automatism’ can really help us.   The human life process can be simplified to three aspects:  Feeling, thinking and action.  We all create habits in these areas:  thinking patterns, emotional patterns and actions patterns  - and they in turn determine our destiny. In the consulting room I help people to have better habits to handle their emotions, better thinking patterns, and better repeated actions aka habits.  

3.        How do we form habits? How does it work ?  ..

The process is simple : Thoughts are the seeds of deeds. And repeated action form habits.  Sow a thought, reap an action, sow an action , reap a habit, sow an habit, reap a character, and sow a character , reap a destiny.     Your character is made up of the sum total of all your habits, and your character determines your destiny.    This is also true for families and companies.  Culture can be defined as ‘the way we do things’.   In families you can exchange the word ‘character’ with ‘family culture’, and in corporations with corporate culture:  It is true: You create the corporate culture (or family culture) and the culture will create your bottom line or progress in life.

4.       How do we change habits? 

You change habits in the exact same way as you form habits: New and better ideas  must lead to new actions that will, when done repeatedly, will become new habits, changing your character and your destiny. Habits are changed through replacement. Your habits fill your life like water that fill a glass. Only new water can drive the old water out.  Men/women doing woodwork know that you drive out a nail with another nail. You replace a habit through doing a new thing (new eating patterns) repeatedly and not by thinking about the previous habit (I must not eat cream cake).

5.       We need habits on these areas ...: Be it the 7, 10, 14 or 50 habits of highly successful people.

When Stephan Covey wrote his “The 7 habits of highly effective people” he started a trend followed by many people to compile list of success habits. One of the best developments was the Shadowmatch® worksheet tool developed by Pieter de Villiers, a colleague of mine.   His list of 19 success habits for the workplace is to my mind one of the most important recent developments.  I would like to take it one step further and categorize some of these habits under headings where we must create habits:

The success habits Shadowmatch® (IN CAPS) are as follows:

HABIT: PROPENSITY TO OWN & PROPENSITY TO HAND-OFF , HABIT: TO SIMPLIFY; HABIT: RESILIENCE; HABIT: FRUSTRATION HANDLING; HABIT: TEAM & INDIVIDUAL INCLINATION ; HABIT: SELF-MOTIVATION HABIT: ROUTINE ; HABIT: PROBLEM SOLVING ; HABIT: RESPONSIVENESS ; HABIT: INNOVATION ; HABIT: PEOPLE POSITIVE ; HABIT: DISCIPLINE ; HABIT: CONFLICT HANDLING; HABIT: ALTRUISM ; HABIT: SELF CONFIDENCE ; HABIT: LEADERSHIP

Just for the sake of memory: The 7 habits from Stephan Covey  are:

1) Be Proactive 2) Begin With The End In Mind 3) Put First Things First 4) Think Win/Win 5) Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood  6) Synergize  7) Sharpen The Saw

The Covey and Shadowmatch® habits  can be categorized under the headings of the important facets to shape in executive coaching ( Taken from my Diamond Profiling© Shaping yourself model).  In my Executive coaching program “Diamond Profiling©” we work with the two levels of a human being:   The inside:  intra-personal,  and the outside:  self-projection/personality. Then there are two playing fields where you have to perform every day:  Interface with people, and Interface with Life and Work.

(i)                  Intra-personal

(ii)                Personality/Self projection

(iii)               Interface with people

(iv)              Interface with life/Work

Obviously the habits on the field of shaping your own self  is just part of one of the 8 areas in life where we need good habits:

A.      Physical Habits

B.      Family life habits

C.      Social Habits

D.      Spiritual Habits

E.       Talent/Shaping yourself Habits

F.       Work Habits

G.     Wealth Creation  Habits

H.      Charity/Making a difference Habits

6.       Six steps to change habits :

Here is a short 6 step process to change/replace habits:
After the big decision to make your life different: 

-          Step 1: Get a new action plan (list of new behaviours)

-          Step 2: Commit and resolve to keep it for at least 30 days. Start immediately

-          Step 3: Line reminders/alarm clocks up to keep you going

-          Step 4: Get an accountability partner / exercise partner to make sure you don’t have to do it alone.

-          Step 5:  Act with Discipline (create a routine)

-          Step 6: Reward yourself along the way. (Not with cream cake!) 

Dr Gustav Gous was the in-house counselor for an international Petro-chemical company (SASOL) where he coached staff from CEO to shop floor level. If you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book him for talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and 

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol 

for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership 

programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President 

of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a 

member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  

Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, 

specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .

Five stupid things to do to mess up your marriage and burn your fingers

Five stupid things to do to mess up your marriage or relationship

There are rules that guarantee success, and believe me, there are rules that guarantee failure. If you like a really complicated life – then follow the five easy rules that will mess up your marriage. But, on the other hand: If you want to make a success of your marriage/relationship, my advice is just to do the opposite of what I describe here. (Disclaimer: Written from a predominantly male perspective).

It is all about a promise.  Marriage is not only about love and intimacy – it is a deal, a contract. It is a promise to be there for each other, to love and to hold (not withhold – especially on the sexual level!), for richer or poorer, for better or worse. … the old words will ring in your ear.  Nobody forces you to enter into this contract (accept for the shotgun marriages in Gretna Green, Scotland, many years ago!).  You do it willingly and most people do it with the intention to keep it. But there are also others that want to invite disaster …

Here are the 5 rules to guarantee disaster:

1.       1. Don’t RESOLVE to KEEP YOUR MARITAL VOWS:  Go into the marriage but keep a back door open. Hey, what’s the big deal with honour and keeping promises?! What is so important about integrity?

2.       2. Don’t GO FOR COACHING IN MARRIAGE PREPARATION and even COUNSELLING.   Rather go for infidelity. Don’t  do marriage preparation through professional coaches and pastors  http://www.happilymarried.co.za/  .  Act as if you don’t need any training or coaching in relationship-building. And if problems surprise you - at the soonest hick-up in your relationship - look for excuses, to justify extra marital adventures:   She doesn’t give me enough sex, he doesn’t fulfill me emotionally, blah, blah, blah.  When you reach a bad spot where you are unfulfilled – don’t go for counselling - go and look for fulfilment elsewhere. Rather go for infidelity instead of working towards greater intimacy.   Why be like the top sports people in the world that get coaches to help them to succeed. Try it your own way:  If you have pants with a problem, go and look for panties with a solution. If you have a bit of power and status and money perhaps and even a bit of personality, - keep your eyes open – these opportunities will be offered to you from time to time. Or if not, then chase every dress in the vicinity.  

3.       3. Don’t CLOSE the BOOK ON SEARCHING. Keep on looking – see every person you meet as a possible relationship partner. Pick up every vibe of connection where-ever you travel.    [Note: PS: So many people come into my consulting room to say how they have met another person and feel so deeply connected and attracted to this other person, even though they are married. They say it is so special and can’t be neglected. They are surprised if I mention that every person can, in my opinion, meet up to 30 people in a lifetime with whom you may feel a vibe and even a deep connection, and that can potentially be even a marriage partner. My answer is that it is to be expected and not surprising. You will be a fool to run after every vibe you feel. Make it work where you are, if possible. ] Visit dating websites regularly, even when you are married. Keep looking on the menu.  Get a heart attack when the so-called secure website of your sexual escapades are hacked, and that they threaten to publish the names of users in your local newspaper – as happened recently with a dedicated extra-marital affair website.

4.       4. Don’t KEEP YOUR BOUNDARIES (AND PROMISES/VOW’s). Don’t keep your boundaries of intimacy and privacy. Start flirting: Do it in person. Or start using social media.  Ignore the advice that you must never send a message to another person that you would not be comfortable for your partner to read. Keep your Mobile phone away and out of reach of your spouse.   Better still: Go full out for emotional and sexual affairs. Ignore the wisdom that intimacy and sex finds it finest fulfillment in a safe relations – in the safe fireplace of a house called marriage.  Rather: Make fires all over the place, all over the neighbourhood or workplace. Burn your life down.  And if you really want to complicate your life, even make babies. Be radical, be a go-getter -  and get even STD’s not forgetting Aids.  Carry all of these back to your partner as a nice bonus gift.   

5.       5. Have an in-ability to SAY STYLISHLY NO and to EXCUSE YOURSELF from compromising situations. Hey, see every temptation as a last chance – what if the temptation doesn’t come again?   Don’t go for self-respect ,  don’t honour your partner,  rather go for the quickie offered on a plate. Humiliate your partner.

Do the above and burn your fingers and burn your relationship house down! 

Enough of the sarcasm and reverse talk:

The best way to prevent the pain of infidelity in marriage is to do the opposite of the above.  Invest in your own relationship – do your utmost to make it work. Go for full fulfillment on a physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual level – this is what I call the 4x4 of intimacy. If you want to sit and re-prepare for the rest of your marriage - use the following white-paper advertised on this website.  http://www.happilymarried.co.za/   Go for marriage counselling and coaching to create ‘champagne’ at home , that you or your partner are not thirsty to go and look for something to drink elsewhere!  Be the best you can be - give no reason for the other person to cheat. And if your partner is still transgressing, after you've done your very best - then it is time for hard decisions about the future of the relationship/marriage. 

Post script:   Just to see the pain in your partner's heart is also a sobering experience. I cannot include stories from my consulting room for confidentiality reasons, but here are quotes from the internet that will help you understand the pain inflicted on your partner: 

So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another woman….. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.” 
― Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of the Sun

“Cheating and lying aren't struggles, they're reasons to break up.” 
― Patti Callahan Henry, Between the Tides

F**k You for cheating on me. F**k you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. F**k you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.” 

― David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary

 Last word: Keep your life uncomplicated, spare yourself and your partner lots of pain,  and stay true in marriage.  

Dr Gustav Gous was the in-house counselor for an international Petro-chemical company (SASOL) where he coached staff from CEO to shop floor level. If you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book him for talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want  interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and 

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol 

for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership 

programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President 

of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a 

member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  

Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, 

specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .

Call the bluff of bullies: How to stand up to bullies at school, at work and in love relationships.

Call the bluff of bullies:  How to stand up to bullies at school, at work and in love relationships. 

There are 5 critical steps to stand up to bullies at school, at work and in love relationships.  You can use it to protect yourself against bullies. Or you can use it to teach your children or friends to protect themselves from this evil - the unacceptable behaviour called bullying. 

You can know that bullies come in all ages, sizes, races, religions, and in both genders. You can even know the four reasons why people revert to bully behaviour, namely:

1.        They were either bullied themselves by their parents, peers, even teachers, in the past.

2.        They have big ego’s – the normal disguise for feelings of inferiority - and they find joy in being the top dog in the popularity race, and use the group to become an emotional lynch mob.

3.        They want to compensate for their own insecurities, by being the gate-keeper of who is ‘in, and who is ‘out’.

4.        Or (and this is the very dangerous type) that they have little, if any, empathy and may even show ruthless psychopathic tendencies,

You can also know that it is true what Tim Field says: "Bullying consists of the least competent most aggressive employee projecting their incompetence on to the least aggressive most competent employee and winning."

But all of it is just brain gymnastics if you do not follow the practical steps on how to counter bully behaviour. Here are the 5 steps:

1.       1. It starts with a DEEP INNER REALIZATION that I am worthy and must be treated as such. It even has a spiritual dimension of, that if God regards me as worthy, who am I or any other person to dare to differ.

2.       2. Then it must be followed by the IMPORTANT UNDERSTANDING that it is in actual fact the bully that is insecure. A person secure of him or herself will never feel the need to resort to bully behaviour. If people are trying to bring you down – it is only because you are above them.

3.       3. It must be followed by a STRONG RESOLVE that I am not going to allow it that  anyone’s insecurities, ignorance,  hate, drama or negativity prevent me from being the best person I can be. 

4.       4. IMMEDIATE ACTION must follow: SPEAK OUT! Tim Field is quoted to say: ‘Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim.’ Your task is to go and seek protection from authority figures that can discipline the bullies. Speak out formally: 

-          If you are a young student at school – make use of the anonymous reporting lines to report bully behaviour.  (If you are a teacher or parent and there are no such reporting procedures – make sure to introduce them a.s.a.p.) 

-          At work, phone the ethics line and report victimization, or report it to HR using the available procedures in the workplace. You can also speak to your labour union representative.

-          In marriages it is more difficult because there is no higher authority to appeal to. The parents-in-law are more than often part of the problem and not part of the solution. But you can always seek help from a counsellor/coach/psychologist to strengthen you to handle the situation.

Speak out informally even if you have to shout out loud, or describe the person’s actions in loud audible words, to pull immediate attention to the shameful action of the bully.   And remember: Don’t ever go down the road of contemplating suicide or even attempt to plan or do it! Why must you take yourself out because of another person’s bad behaviour. Whatever the bullies say or do – they are saying anyway more about themselves than about you.

5.       5. Lastly you must STRENGTHEN YOUR OWN ABILITIES, because you will have to learn to fend for yourself. It includes the ability to cut off negative things and learn not to internalize them. Master the art of verbal and nonverbal (body language) assertiveness. Aggressiveness by the bully must not be answered with submissiveness or with aggressiveness from your side but with assertiveness where you draw a line in the sand and protect your own boundaries. Learn verbal defense mechanisms, in extreme cases physical defense mechanisms and develop the discernment when to step out of a situation if necessary.  Bullies are usually cowards. They usually back off or run if you show real forceful resistance.

Follow these 5 steps, but be sure to solicit the help of a life coach to master the art of asserting yourself in a positive way.

But what if you are the bully? That is a topic for another day, but here is something very briefly for you:    

(1)    You must know : The world sees you for what you are : Bullying are for losers

(2)    Try to find out where it comes from (difficult childhood, bad example, etc) but realize: It is not always your fault that you are the way you are, but is your fault that you stay the way you are.

(3)    Realize there is no real joy in PHD-life: A Pull Him/Her Down-life. You will never feel better, if the only thing you can do is make other people suffer.

(4)    Go for counselling to experience the freedom of being liberated from your own destructive behaviour, that, if left unattended, will boomerang  one day on you.

If you do not want to head the call to seek help:  Just hope in the meantime, that the kid you bully does not  turn out to be the surgeon that one day have the decision making power to  save your life through keeping the machines on or switching them off! 

Lastly: Make sure to always have sympathy with your kids: If you have to go through as an adult,  what they often are faced with at school, then you would come out stronger in their support. 

One of the most graphic depictions of this is this French bully video where they transfer the typical bully behaviour your child is faced with to the workplace with adult role players. How will you react if the following happens to you?    

This video is an eye opener and went viral – +- more than 1,5 million views – it will grip your heart about the realities your kids may be faced with.  Share as widely as possible to conscientize people.

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and 

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol 

for 9 years. He focusses on all the inner and inter-personal processes necessary to conduct good business. 

He is known for his Transformational leadership 

programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President 

of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a 

member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  

Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, 

specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. He is the CEO of Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd.

Contact his office: +2712 3455931  Office hours 08:00 - 13:30 South African Time. (CAT) 

  www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

 gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .

Self-confidence is attractive. It is a skill that can be learned

Self-confidence is attractive. It is a skill that can be learned.

The best thing a woman can wear, is self-confidence. And the same can be said of a man. A strong self-image and self-confidence is the foundation of all great achievements. The opposite is also true: Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities. You self-image is like a thermostat: It can hold you back and make you trip out before you reach your full potential.

I want to make the statement that self-confidence is a skill that can be learned. It is also one of the 32 strengths listed in the Gallup StrengtsFinder Test. Here are 5 steps to acquire the skill of self-confidence and to sharpen the strength.  

Everybody does not start equal in the game. It helps if you had a childhood where you were affirmed and could naturally develop a youthful self-confidence. But all is not lost for those who grew up in circumstances where everybody, including your parents talked you down, instead of up.

With or without a current strong self-confidence, here are 5 steps to build a solid self-image and self-confidence.

The pre-work is to understand what a self-image is: It is what you think about yourself and how you see yourself – not a ‘what-others-think-of-me’-image. So take your self-image back, own it, and start to work with it.

1.       1. Make a DECISION:  Start with the INTENTION: “I can …” 

Nothing out there or inside yourself can prevent you to someday just stand up and say: I believe I can! If I believe I can, I am  right and if I believe I can’t I am also right. So why not start with the belief I can. You do not need 50 people to affirm you first – just start with the intention. It is a good enough starting point. This must be followed by positive self-talk. Talk yourself up and not down.

2.       2. Then live TRUE to yourself, live in INTEGRITY

You must become more of what you are. But too many people live their whole lives trying to find themselves. Instead they must realize: Life is about creating yourself. Know what you are and then become better at it. Realize you are made of the right stuff - you are a diamond, and what shape of diamond you are, and then start to shape yourself,

3.       3. Develop COMPETENCY  and expertise in the field you want to excel in

The attitude of ‘I can’,  must be followed by the action of building knowledge, skills, ability and expertise. Without that you will be just an arrogant bag of wind.  The task here is just to start, and not to be afraid of failure. The person who believes he/she can, will also build confidence in failing forward.  Only those who do nothing, don’t make mistakes.  But those who know they can learn from their mistakes, can build self-confidence, because they are getting better all along. It is all about the confidence-competence loop.  The better you become the more confident you become, and the more confident you are, the better you perform. This is how you BUILD confidence - through doing and improving. 

4.       4.Then go for REPEATED ACTION or momentum

The only thing that will cause you not to freeze in front of a big audience, will be the deep down knowledge that I have practiced and exercised this thing over and over and over again.  Big match temperament is not born but created through the discipline of repeated exercise.

5.       5.Surround you with a POSITIVE COMMUNITY.

Lastly you must do yourself a favour to surround you with people who talk you up and not down.  Distance you as far as possible from the PHD-people – the Pull Him/Her Down people.  Sometimes you have such a family member or spouse, and it would be difficult to get them out of your life, but at least you can choose your group – make therefore sure that there are more positive people in your life than negative ones.  They do not determine you, but you can make it easy for yourself to function in a positive circle of influence/influencers, who believe in you and cheer you on. A person with a positive self-image will also listen to the most negative feedback from enemies, weigh if there are any truth in it, and use it to grow and improve. They act upon it if they discover that negative feedback is valid.

Lastly: What about arrogance?  Arrogance is step 1: A strong self-belief without the discipline of steps 2-5. Arrogance is also usually a dead give-away for a low self-image. A person with a strong self-image projects him/her  with confidence, not arrogance.  A self-confident person’s acts speak for themselves – and he/she doesn’t have to brag about it!

Use the five steps to build your self-confidence and self-projection.

If you want more information on this, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want  interventions for your team: Request it on www.gustavgous.co.za  or via WhatsApp on +27825657451   or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and 

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol 

for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership 

programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President 

of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa, as well as the founding President of the Professional Speakers Association of Namibia and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  

Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, 

specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za ,

Follow him on  Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn 

The 4 leadership actions, symbolized by the 4 leadership caps

Leadership is an action: The 4 leadership caps

Leadership is about action – it is something you do.  If you are in a leadership position and ask yourself ‘What must I do today and tomorrow to lead my people to achieve our goal?’ - then the four leadership actions symbolized by the 4 leadership caps, are for you.  

The problem with many leadership courses/seminars/interventions is that they focus on a theoretical explanation on leader attributes, styles and roles or an analysis of historical figures and also the types and levels of leadership.

Although you can gain valuable information from this, it doesn't answer the question:  What must I DO at my next meeting to lead my group to their destination/our common goal? The missing link is the 4 leadership actions as symbolized by the 4 leadership caps. 

But lets share a little of the valuable information to be gained, before we focus on the 4 leadership actions:

A valuable model is John Maxwell's model on the 5 levels of leadership on why people follow their leaders: (Read from bottom to top):

The Five Levels of Leadership

(A Look at Why People Follow Their Leaders)

Level v:   RESPECT

People follow because of who you are and what you represent.

Level iv:  REPRODUCTION

People follow because of what you have done for them.

Level iii:  RESULTS

People follow because of what you have done for the organization.

Level ii:  RELATIONSHIPS

People follow because they want to.

Level i:  RIGHTS: 
People follow because they have to because of your position (positional power).

Nelson Mandela would be one of the few leaders who really became a level 5 leader. Take your President, CEO, boss, headmaster, etc and judge for yourself: Which level of leadership do they function on? 

But the real question is: How do you get to become a level 5 leader?  What are the actions I must take on a daily/weekly basis as a leader to DO leadership?

Here I would like to share a down to earth practical guide on how to ‘do’ leadership. Each leadership cap represents an action to take, and just like De Bono’s thinking hats, you can physically put on the cap while executing  the action in meetings and team sessions. I call it the 4 D's of leadership.

The 4 tasks of a leader is to: 

                       

•  LEAD (Direction)

•  MANAGE (Directive)

•  EMPOWER (Delegative)

•  BUILD A TEAM (Democratic)

The sub actions of leadership are: 

1. DIRECTION: To lead people

(i) Know the way

(ii) Plan the way

(iii) Show the way

(iv) Go the way

(v) Find new ways

(vi) Flow the way

2. DIRECTIVE: To manage systems

(vii)  Design the way

(viii) Control the way:

Who, What, When, How, Budget

3. DELEGATIVE: To empower team members

(ix) Grow people along the way

(x) Get out of the way 

(xi) Empower them to do it their own way

(xii) Allow people to go all the way

4. DEMOCRATIC: To build a team

(xiii) Synergize team energy: Focus one way

(xiv) Create culture: Our way

(xv) Motivation for winning ways

If you want more information on this, order the audio CD on the 4 Leadership actions from admin@gustavgous.co.za 
If you want leadership interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931   or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities. 

Dr Gustav Gous  is an International Motivational Speaker and 

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he 

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol 

for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership 

programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”. 

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President 

of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a 

member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).  

Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, 

specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for 

international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans.  gustav@gustavgous.co.za    drgous@iafrica.com     www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous  or on Facebook and LinkedIn .