The Gustav Gous blog: Nelson Mandela

Delivered of (?) a prince. By George! George of Cambridge, Mandela of South Africa and the trauma of farm murders.

Connecting the dots …

By George! Lesson # no. 1: Baby delivery is not a DHL-style delivery of a parcel but rather to be delivered from something that can harm you if it stays too long inside.

Was it only me who found the wording of the royal baby announcement displayed on the easel in front of Buckingham Palace strange? “ …the Duchess of Cambridge was delivered of a baby ….”

In older video footage they said Diana was ‘delivered of a prince’. Delivered of (?) a baby? Perhaps it was my bad English (my second language) that caused me to think that a baby is delivered almost like a parcel, not necessarily by a stork (although the picture did enter my mind), but almost like a DHL delivery. My expectation was that the delivery agent in this case was Duchess Catherine and that she laboured hard through a painful process to deliver a royal baby to the British nation, a heir to the throne, a future king to a number of commonwealth countries. But the actual wording on the easel has more of a ring of the wording in the Lord’s prayer: “…deliver us from evil …” Delivery here in the sense saving you from something that can harm you.

Having being fortunate to be physically present at a number of births, I am to this day still in awe of the miracle that plays out when a child is born. The pain of separation brings not only new life to the baby but also new life to your wife who can now recover and continue with her life without having to carry the one she nurtured inside her body forever. I should have known: In my mother tongue an Obstetrician is called a “verloskundige” – literally translated as a ‘saving-scientist/doctor’! Perhaps we forget the fact that it is dangerous for the health of the mother and the child if the baby stays too long on the inside: 266-270 days normal – anything more than 285 days is dangerous and detrimental to the health of mother and child. Then the childbirth must be induced by the doctor – the ‘saving-doctor’ - to deliver her of the baby.

So Kate was delivered of the baby, and young prince George Alexander Louis of Cambridge was delivered from the womb, which could have become his prison if he stayed in too long. Little George is now free to be a great leader one day. Who knows: Perhaps he (like all princes and kings in story books of my children) will do great deeds in years to come: With a lion-heart he will be brave and he will deliver the goods by delivering his nation in critical moments in history from whatever is threatening them.

Lesson # no. 2: Delivery comes from within: Leaders must be liberated before they can lead.

This is where Nelson Mandela comes in. His most famous quote: “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.” His greatness lies in the fact that he was liberated from within. In other aspects he is just like other leaders with their good and bad points. But he was great because he knew he had to be delivered of hatred before he could lead. Without being delivered from within, he could have been consumed by hatred and destroyed a nation. South Africa’s neighbour Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe is currently destroying his country because he was never delivered from within …

Lesson # no. 3: A friend, life coach, father, teacher, speaker, counsellor helps others to be liberated from things on the inside that harm them.

The farm murder? In my daily work I do also trauma counselling. Assisting a family after their father was brutally murdered on a farm in South Africa, we sat around a table discussing: The culprits will hopefully be soon behind bars as a result of their horrendous acts. But we shared: The family will not be safe and secure if they only introduce new security measures. They will only be victorious if they don’t allow this happening to replay in their minds every day. They won’t allow the terror agents any mind space. They will win - not in finding meaning in a senseless killing – that is impossible. But they will use the human ability to create new meaning and find new motivation. In doing so, they will be even better off after the tragic loss of a beloved father. They will be prepared but not be paranoid. They will be diligent but not vindictive. They will create meaning instead of being consumed by hatred. They will be free and the culprits will be in jail. Actually in two jails: The one behind bars, and the prison of hatred and greed, that a murderer carries within.

Not the recent Mandela Day celebrations, or the birth of a Royal baby, inspired me as much as the bravery of a South African farmer family, who knows their victory lies in not in being safe from the outside but being free from the inside. Their father was not saved from the attack, but they are delivered from the inner hatred that could have poisoned the whole family.

They will go from strength to strength, and continue to be leaders in their farming community because they understood the concept of being “delivered of …”.

Thank you George of Cambridge.

Dr Gustav Gous is an International Motivational Speaker and

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he

was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol

for 9 years. He facilitated in numerous Trauma counselling sessions

after industrial accidents. He is known for his Transformational leadership

programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”.

He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President

of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a

member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore).

Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute,

specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for

international companies. www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,

www.diversityconference.co.za gustav@gustavgous.co.za drgous@iafrica.com

Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous or on Facebook and LinkedIn .

Call to action: Nelson Mandela’s life and death.

Call your prison and Walk free ...

Everybody knows it is inevitable. We will hear one day, perhaps sooner than we want: “World icon Nelson Mandela dies”. Rafael Nadal tweeted about Mandela’s death prematurely and apologised to his 4 million plus followers – but at least he is one of the people who respects and recognises his legacy. We know and accept: Nelson Mandela is old and frail and cannot live forever. When it happens, we will be sad and deeply touched. We will mourn as a South African nation. Actually, the whole world will mourn the death of perhaps the most inspiring leader of the previous century. He was even the 'go-to' leader for celebrities and other world leaders such as American president Bill Clinton who came to seek Mandela’s advice during his time of serious problems.

But what are we to do in this uneasy waiting period? Send well wishes? Must we just pray for his recovery? Obviously two great gestures. But is this the best way to honour him? Or must we just sit and wait, like the protocol group of the South African state who, in anticipation of the bad news, activates the funeral and other contingency plans, every time Madiba (his tribal name) is admitted to hospital?

No, we must not sit and wait – we must act. The best way to honour Madiba’s legacy is not just to empathize or watch with interest and emotion the media drama that will unfold. Many dignitaries will arrive with over 2000 planes expected to land, creating a media circus. Sharing in the emotion of the moment will be good (like so many did with Lady Diana’s funeral), but it is still not the best way to honour his life. If we only focus on his great extraordinary deeds - his 27 years in prison, coming out with forgiveness and not with guns blazing - then it will be just reminiscing the past. His life and death will only get real meaning if we do not only remember the past but start doing something in the present.

This blog is not a call to observation, but a call to action: It is a call, that you actually should have started to act long ago. The call to action is to live Mandela’s example and not to only admire his great deeds.

What is the Mandela secret?

The secret of Mandela’s legacy lies in the fact that he really was a free man. He did not only have a Long Walk to Freedom (title of his autobiography) - being released after 27 years in prison, 18 of those on Robben Island. He was also free from hatred, the bondages of the past, the negative residual of personal pain that was inflicted on him, and free from vengeance. All of this was possible because he embraced the concept of forgiveness. Because of this, South Africa got off the top of the world's hot spot list and became a country with a future.

Other hot spots in the world stay hot because fighting factions perpetuate hatred. They feed it. They keep it alive. 'Live, and let live' is for example not big in the Middle East. They hate each other so much that some don't even recognize the existence of others. Great military leaders in history loved their own people, hated their enemies, and conquered and killed them, and got written into history. But greater leaders love not only their friends but also their enemies. They are the ’next level leaders’, in a class of their own. They are a rare breed: few and far between. In South Africa we call these kinds of leaders ‘rainmakers’ – they bring good things to all people under the sun/ on earth.

In this respect, Nelson Mandela, a Methodist Christian, imitated an even greater leader, Jesus Christ, who preached and lived that you must love not only your neighbour, but also your enemies. Jesus was willing to sacrifice: He died and lived for his message of love for all humankind. Mandela said during the Rivonia trial that led to his imprisonment 49 years ago: “During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”

Nelson in his own admittance is not a saint and he resisted being iconised, but he surely did practice the principle of forgiveness – and that unique ability made him the ‘next level leader’ we admire. He went from positional power to ‘personhood’ where people will follow him for what he is and stands for.

Two movies especially depict Mandela’s attitude of forgiveness, inclusion and love for all:

(1) Invictus, (produced and directed in 2009 by Clint Eastwood with Morgan Freeman as Mandela and Matt Damon as Springbok Rugby captain Francois Pienaar), where Mandela embraces the then predominantly white sport Rugby, to bring about reconciliation and victory for all South Africans. He rejects revenge, forgives his oppressors and creates national unity in an unlikely place: The Rugby field.

(2) Goodbye Bafana (a Bille August film, 2007) depicts the special friendship that developed between prisoner Mandela and his then racist jailer/warder James Gregory. Perhaps they discovered their common humanity in the fact that both men lost their son’s in motor car accidents, with Mandela not even being allowed to attend the funeral of his own son.

It is beyond the reach of petty dictators to ever, get over the hurt of the past and become a next level leader like Nelson Mandela. Caught up in their own hatred, personal pain, they live a reactive life of getting back at people. A classical example is Robert Mugabe who recently criticized Nelson Mandela, saying: "Mandela has gone a bit too far in doing good to the non-black communities [whites, mixed race and Indian people – GG] , really in some cases at the expense of blacks...," in an interview with talk show host Dali Tambo. "That is being too saintly, too good, too much of a saint," he said. Mugabe also fought for freedom, but will die in his own prisons of hatred, reversed racism and homophobia. It will be interesting to see how Zimbabweans and the world view Mugabe’s funeral one day – who stayed in power with fear tactics and rigged elections.

Call to action

But what is the call to action then? It is plain and simple: Inspired by Nelson Mandela’s life well lived …

· 1. Call your own prison.

· 2. Then walk free from it.

· 3. Then Change your world for the better as a free leader.

First be transformed – then lead to transform. Name your own prisons. Then break free. Then use your position to make the world a better place. In doing so Mandela’s inevitable death will not only stir up emotion, but also result in action. Just like Mandela had a long walk to freedom, you must do your personal walk to freedom. This is to my mind the best way to honour his legacy. Because only free leaders can lead people to a better place.

My call to action to all of us is to do a ‘Short Walk to Freedom’. Mandela had a long walk to freedom and a short time for leadership. If we can shorten our respective walks to freedom, then we can have a longer time for leadership.

Since the nineties, I’ve been hosting “Short Walk to Freedom”-interventions on Robben Island on a regular basis. There I lead senior executives and upcoming young leaders on a three step journey: From Captivity, to Liberation, to Leadership. The first step is to identify all the ‘prisons’ that hold you back and prevent you from reaching your destiny. The same prisons can hinder your company/NGO/family/community/country/political party/trade union/school or university.

Over the years we have identified more than 45 potential prisons that hold us back, including the prisons of

· the past
· prejudice
· paradigms (political, business, ideological, etc)
· personal pain
· habits (even addictions)
· fundamentalism
· greed …

and many more. It turned into a project that will soon become a publication that will urge people to break free from everything that is holding them back.

We contemplated the following over the years:

· If people get out of the prison of unresolved issues and personal pain, they will be free to have pro-active lives and not re-active lives, in relationships and business teams
· If some bankers can escape from the prison of greed – then we can avoid a further global credit crunch.
· If people can walk away from the prison of selfishness/immorality, then we can prevent the next Enron scandal.
· If people can break free from fundamentalism, there will be less wars on earth.
· If people can break free from outdated business and environmental paradigms, then businesses and the world will flourish more.
· If politicians can break free from their self-serving prison and start serving the people like Nelson Mandela did, we will all have a better life for all - in South Africa and elsewhere. Nelson Mandela was a freedom fighter that fought for principles. Many of his struggle mates are not actually freedom fighters, but proved themselves to be mere “power fighters” who aim for and cling to positions of power, for the sake of self-enrichment and family enrichment through nepotism. Some even cling to positions of power because of the prison of fear: The moment they lose the immunity that goes with their position, they know they will be criminally charged or brought to book for war crimes.
· Bad habits are cobwebs that turn into cables – if you stay in the grip of bad habits people will never reach their rightful destiny.

My call to action is: Call your prison and walk free. Follow in Mandela’s footsteps and do your personal walk to freedom, albeit shorter.

Feel even free to contact me if you want to do your walk to freedom with me on Robben Island in the footsteps of Mandela. admin@gustavgous.co.za

My last call to action is a smaller one: If you can think of, or identify any type of ‘prison’ that can hold us back as individuals, communities, nations, humanity – then post it at the end of the blog or on my Facebook/LinkedIn/Twitter links. It can help us in our research project to identify as many as possible ‘prisons’ that we can break free from, and include it in our future publications.

In summary:

If you want to honour Nelson Mandela’s legacy- then do something: Just watching the media circus surrounding his possible death is not enough – honour his life through action.

Realize that we are often ‘prisoners without knowing’ – prisoners of the past, prejudice, personal pain, paradigms, emotions (hatred, fear), unresolved issues, addictions, and many more. Identify your prisons, and walk free – in doing so you will liberate yourself to be the best leader you can be - a next level leader like Nelson Mandela.

Dr Gustav Gous is an International Motivational Speaker and

Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. In the past he

was the in-house councillor for the petro-chemical company Sasol

for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership