CANcer CAN be beaten
Just recently sat with a friend supporting him in taking on the battle against cancer. Under the impression of what we discussed and shared, I reached for my laptop to dot down a few ideas. For anybody struggling with a so-called terminal disease, remember the following 11 pointers:
1. More people die with cancer, than because of cancer.
2. CANcer can be beaten. Focus mentally on the ‘can’ in cancer.
3. For us all (with or without an illness): Live every day full out as though it is your last day, and plan as if you are going to live for a very long time.
4. The looming reality of death (waiting for ALL of us) must bring us all to the point that we return to true priorities: What is important must become important again and what is unimportant must be regarded as such.
5. We must all realize – life is too short for bad coffee. There is no time for pettiness and nonsense – for majoring in minors.
6. Start asking the right questions: Do not ask: Why? Or Why me? Even if you get an answer to these questions .... what will it help? Rather ask: What now? How can I best spend the time (24hour day) that I have now.
7. Resist being paralyzed in the present (by fear or ‘angst’). You cannot always change the reality, but you can change your focus in the reality. Horizontally: Shift your focus from the looming danger to the opportunities that you do have: To love while you can, make a difference while you can, sort things and relationships out, and leaving a legacy (tasks that all people should do anyway). Vertically: A person of faith will focus on God (Psalm 121) and will enjoy God as Emmanuel, present and there for you in every situation.
8. All of us have a choice how we die eventually: 100% sick: 33.33% Physically, 33,33% Emotionally/Socially/Relationship wise, 33,33% Spiritually. Or 66,66% healthy: You body can and will give in one day but you can be spiritually and psychologically in perfect health! Long term cancer patients who eventually lost the battle, told me in counselling sessions that this was the good part about it: That they had enough time to become 66,66% healthy. They had peace.
9. My Father survived cancer 5 times (first diagnosed and operated on when he was 50 – he is now 86) for two reasons: (1) he is a person of faith and God cured him miraculously – more times than he even expected himself (confusing his oncologist!), but also (2) Because of his optimistic spirit. He is an arch optimist: When you ask him in the most difficult circumstances, ‘How are you?’, his reply would be: ‘Sometimes good, sometimes better. So today is just good.’ And he will continue: ‘Actually, when it goes well with me, I am well, when it goes terrible, it actually goes better, because of the growth opportunities in it.” Mmm .... what do you say about that!?!!.
10. Live full out with the realization that death is part of life: I lost my mother to cancer. All of us will eventually die. Make your life count while you can. Then there are no regrets when you have to say goodbye one day.
11. Death is not a wall. Death is a door.
Is it easy to handle? No. Is it possible to eventually come to terms with it? Yes.
Dr Gustav Gous was the in-house counsellor of the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He still does counselling but focuses more on Executive Coaching and long term company interventions as a consultant on Emotional-, Leadership- and Diversity Intelligence and other intra-psychological aspects of business. www.gustavgous.co.za ; www.diviin.com ; www.diamondprofiling.com gustav@gustavgous.co.za
Feel free to follow him on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn
