What now? The Attitude
and Actions of Crisis & Disaster management.
How do I survive, recover and even thrive, after
calamity struck.
A crisis, calamity or a disaster is a disruptive and
unexpected event that threatens to harm you, your loved ones or what is
valuable to you.
All calamities and crises have one thing in
common. Be it a natural disaster (fire or floods destroyed your house) ,
accidental death of a loved one, huge motor vehicle accident, shipwreck, loss
of a limb, displacement due to war, nuclear or ecological disaster, terrorist
attacks, murder of a family member, you were diagnosed with a terminal illness,
you got shot in crossfire - you name it.
The common denominator is that after that event your future is not what it used to be. Your perceived picture of
the future is destroyed. It went up in flames or was washed away or abruptly
brought to an end.
You thought you would live happily ever after in
this house, but it is now totally incinerated by fire. You thought you would
grow old with this person – but it is not to be. You thought that you would be
able to make your livelihood in this place, but you were forced to leave.
The thing with problems and disasters is that
they don’t have respect for rank or file. They hit all people on all levels and
walks of life. The question is, independent of your rank or file: Can I continue
after crisis and calamity? And if so, how? Furthermore: How can I be mentally
and physically prepared for any eventuality?
Here are 13 steps or modes (obviously not
exhausting the topic) to get out of the crisis and into a new future. The 13 steps
of crisis management involves dealing with threats during, and after they
have occurred, and before they re-occur.
1. Get into survival mode. Do whatever it takes to survive . In the Knysna fires that
almost destroyed a whole town, one family (father, mother and small kids) jumped
into a muddy fishpond with wet towels over their heads and a small opening to
breathe to survive the ravaging fire. Act
fast. Winston Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” This is not a time to sit still – action will
be rewarded.
2. Get into ask for and accept
help mode. Ask for it, even cry
for help in the hope that someone will arrive to help. But do not lose hope if
it doesn’t. This is the time to accept and be thankful for the stretched out
hands to you.
3. Emotion management
mode: Do not
suppress emotions – do not give free
reign to them. Recognize deep emotions
and feel free to express appropriately. As soon as things settle down, go for trauma
counselling as soon as possible, to deal with the loss and to reconstruct the
future.
4. Get into “asking the
right questions’- mode: Not why me? – questions. Rather What now? –
questions. For many it is ‘game over’ and they are wrecked, partly because they
ask the wrong questions. They ask “Why me?” instead of “What now?” questions.
Learning to ask empowering questions such as ‘What must I do to survive?’ in
moments of crisis, is a critical survival skill. Ask ‘why me?’ when you are
wounded and you will bleed to death. Ask ‘what now?’ and you will crawl to a
place of safety and healing. First try to be prepared for any eventuality (risk
management), but if all else fails, ask how can I survive. Also deal with survivor guilt: Why did I
survive and others not. The answer lies in personalizing it: You are busy with your own journey … you are
still here – ask what good purpose can you find for your survival end the go
for it.
The RIGHTATTITUDE: Victor mentality & Re-frame
5. Get into victor
mentality mode. It is first about attitude, then action. Get a
mentality fit for the future. Attitude is one of the things in your control.
You can choose to have a ‘victim’ or a ‘victor’ mentality. Victims focus on
what happened. Survivors focus on how to respond. Between stimulus and
response lies your freedom: You have one of three choices when something bad
happens: You can either let it define you, destroy you, or strengthen you. Therefore:
Get out of the victim mentality and into a victor mentality. Know fear, but have faith. Circumstances
influence you, but don’t determine you.
6. Get into reframe mode. Create meaning. Use the powerful human ability to even
create meaning out of terrible meaningless situations. It starts with the
belief that good can actually come from this.
Re-framing works like this: Accept that many things are utterly
meaningless. E.g. The death of a child or a loved one. Or the destruction of
something valuable. Then learn from Victor Frankl (amongst others), that was
thrown in a death camp during the 2nd World War. He demonstrated the
unique human ability to create meaning out of something utterly meaningless. He
searched for meaning and found a purpose for himself in the situation – first to
survive, but secondly to live to tell the story and lessons learned. Create
meaning by using the horrendous situation to grow as a person, as an
opportunity to help others, and to learn something. Employ horrendous
situations... don’t resent them. Meaning
is created, not by understanding better, but by doing things differently.
The RIGHTACTION: Re-focus, , Re-group, Re-join
(Re-start)
Attitude and action will carry you through.
7. Re-focus mode: Get a new picture – a new preferred future. Crystalize the
picture – do not try to get the past picture back. That is irreversibly gone. Imagine a new and even better, but different
picture
8. Re-group mode: Don’t do it alone. Re-group:
Get connected and don’t go it alone. Get a support structure in place:
- I am
connected with good people (friends and family) who will carry me through.
- I am
connected with a good coach who will see me through.
- I am
connected with God: I got to know him as Emmanuel: God is with us in all
circumstances. In adversity I am more than a conqueror:
9. Re-join mode (Re-start) mode .
Re-join and Re-start: Meaning is created, not
by understanding better, but by doing things differently. Get going again. Get
a ‘start with what I have’ attitude. Don’t wait for better days or more
resources. Get back in the saddle .
10. Reconstruction mode: Best way to guarantee the future back is to create it. Built up - with worn out tools as Rudyard Kipling
wrote in his poem “If”.
11. Mastery mode. Record treasures
- observe the growth in you . create meaning , life breaks us – and then
many of us are stronger. Ask yourself: If growth results from hardships, why do
you resent difficult times so much? Reframe it from being a stumbling block to
a building block and a stepping stone. As
a test:
List and name five instances of positive growth
that resulted in your life due to past calamities.
1.
__________________________________________________________________________
2.
__________________________________________________________________________
3.
__________________________________________________________________________
4.
__________________________________________________________________________
5.
__________________________________________________________________________
12. Ready for the future
mode. Take
heart and get hope for the future. If you can survive this – you can survive
everything.
13. Be ready for future
calamities and success: Be prepared for calamity and success in the
future. Treat the two imposters just the same: Handle both with care. Both must
be managed well. Be strong enough to handle the three C’s of life: Crashes,
Crises and Calamities. But also be strong enough to handle the proverbial three
G’s that caused the downfall of many: Gold, Glitz and Glory. More men (and
women) sink through success than through calamities or failure. With the question
about calamity management sorted, you are now prepared to build a new life plan
on a solid foundation. (Welcome to
attend a ‘Create your future “Get a Life Seminar )
I close with two special quotes:
“Don’t
wish it was easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for less problems, wish
for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
- Jim Rohn
“Count
it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know
that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness
have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all
without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no
doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and
tossed by the wind….”
- James 1:2-8 (ESV)
you want more information on how to make counselling/coaching appointments or book dr Gustav Gous for motivational talks, contact admin@gustavgous.co.za
If you want interventions for your team: Contact +27 12 3455931 0r 0845138312 (Speak to Karen) or email gustav@gustavgous.co.za to discuss possibilities.
Disclaimer: Important notice to you as the reader: Although the life coach (dr Gustav Gous) provide certain recommendations, the sole and final responsibility for decision-making remains your own and that the life coach or anybody associated to him and his company Short Walk Seminars Pty Ltd cannot be held responsible for any of your choices and reactions. You, the reader, must take full responsibility for your life, reactions and choices.
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www.gustavgousonline.com
Dr Gustav Gous is an International Motivational Speaker and Executive Life Coach with experience on 5 continents. He
was the in-house counselor for the petro-chemical company Sasol for 9 years. He is known for his Transformational leadership programmes on Robben Island, titled the “Short Walk to Freedom”.
He is a Certified Speaking Professional (CSP) and past President of the Professional Speakers Association of Southern Africa and a member of the APSS (Asia Professional Speakers Singapore). Currently he is heading up the Diversity Intelligence Institute, specializing in rolling out Diversity Intelligence interventions for
international companies. His leadership caps does for leadership what De Bono's thinking hats did for creativity and problem solving. His Coaching programme on national Radio in South Africa RSG FM 100-104 "Fiks vir die lewe" touches the lives of many South Africans. gustav@gustavgous.co.za drgous@iafrica.com www.gustavgous.co.za , www.diviin.com ,
Follow him on Twitter: @GustavGous or on Facebook and LinkedIn .
